The war divided the lives of Ukrainian women into “before” and “after”, leaving a chasm between these two realities into which security, stability and ordinary daily life fell. It pushed women out of the roles they were used to and forced them to perform new ones, often at the limit of their physical and moral capabilities. Some women became volunteers in the early days, replacing the office laptop with boxes of humanitarian aid. Others stayed at home, raising their children to the sounds of sirens and explosions. There were also those who went abroad, not knowing whether they would be able to return. And someone went to the front not only to save, but also to fight.
At the same time, the war crushed social stereotypes, but created new threats. Increasing domestic violence, loss of economic independence, traumatic experience of occupation and sexual crimes, lack of psychological support – all this became a reality for thousands of women. In the rear, they carry destroyed families, fight with their own fears every day, and on the front lines prove that they can do everything – and even more.
A difficult female fate
From February 24, 2022, women became the main driving force of the rear. Forced to adapt to new realities, they created them. Chaotic volunteer initiatives have turned into organized headquarters, spontaneous evacuations have become systematic aid, and the traditional idea of the “weaker sex” has finally lost its meaning today. Women went to the army, saved children, returned to destroyed cities and started a business from scratch, losing everything.
However, with new roles came new threats. Those who remained in the country face unemployment, psychological exhaustion and a double burden – work, life, children, caring for elderly parents, constant fear. At the same time, the war exacerbated old problems: the number of cases of domestic violence increased, the economic dependence of many women became even more tangible, and the sexual crimes of the Russian military left behind thousands of broken lives.
The UN Agency for Women, the body that coordinates the work of the UN system on the issue of gender equality, stated shocking numbers:
- 3,799 women and 289 girls died as a result of the full-scale invasion of the Russian Federation into Ukraine;
- 6.7 million women need humanitarian assistance;
- 1 million 869 thousand women have lost their homes and have the status of IDPs;
- 36% of women suffer from gender-based violence.
War radically changes the psychological state of people, creating an environment where aggression and violence become the norm of behavior. By data of the Verkhovna Rada Commissioner for Human Rights Dmytro Lubinets, about 2 million people suffer from physical domestic violence in Ukraine. Horrifying statistics show that more than 80% of cases involve men’s violence against women. Every year, 600 Ukrainian women die as a result of domestic violence.
The highest level of unemployment is found among women. According to the data, in 2024, among women displaced by the war, only 48% had a job, compared to 71% of men. And women’s earnings were 41.4% less than men’s according to 2023 data.
At all times, a woman has always been associated with the keeper of the hearth. But since the beginning of the full-scale invasion, millions of Ukrainian women have been forced to become single mothers, because the fathers of their children are either at the front, or the war has taken them away forever, or families are separated by borders. By data In 2024, war orphaned approximately 1,759 children. This figure is not exact, because there are still occupied territories where access to information remains unavailable. Mothers who have lost their husbands in war find themselves in a world that is bursting at the seams. From this moment on, they are no longer just mothers, but the only support for the child, who needs to be explained why dad will no longer come.
Women have to live in a mode of multitasking for survival: to feed, raise, earn, not to break themselves and not to let the child break. At the same time, the bureaucracy pours tons of papers on them, assistance from the state means endless queues and a struggle for payments that do not even cover basic needs. Employers are reluctant to hire women with children. Of course, there are those who sympathize and support, but there will also be many who envy the money payments, not understanding how much it takes to raise a child. And countless sleepless nights, when small arms hug in the dark, and a child’s voice constantly asks when daddy will return. This is a heavy psychological burden that Ukrainian women constantly face in today’s realities. Some mothers say that children sometimes have an unconscious resentment towards their father, who is not around. This is especially noticeable when they see that other dads have stayed behind or gone abroad, while theirs has been fighting for three years. They cannot understand this injustice, but they are still angry – not at the circumstances, but at their dad.
Women immediately proved that the defiant name from a light male hand “weaker sex” is inappropriate when your country was hit by war. Since the beginning of the full-scale invasion, the number of women in the Armed Forces of Ukraine has increased by 40%, according to data of the personnel center of the Armed Forces of Ukraine for 2024. Currently, 68,000 women serve in the ranks of the Armed Forces, of which more than 48,000 are military personnel. The department notes that this is the largest indicator in recent world history regarding the presence of women on the battlefield. But for some reason, the problems of women warriors are constantly dismissed as irrelevant. Armored vests that do not sit on the figure, caps that rub, and uniforms tailored to men’s patterns are only the tip of the iceberg. Military women are still stereotyped in civilian life, that they are the ones who should take care of the children at home, or that it is generally not a woman’s business to hold a machine gun. There is no decree in war. In case of pregnancy, female soldiers are forced to fight not only at the front, but also with the system. Getting proper payments or at least humane treatment is a mission more difficult than a combat mission. And after the birth of a child, the choice is without options: either resign, or look for someone to give the baby to, because the army is not adapted to a woman who wants to be both a soldier and a mother. Add to this the attitude of some colleagues. Some behave with defiant condescension. And some aggressively point out that a woman has no place in a trench. And even after years of service, military tours and well-deserved awards, they are still forced to prove that they are not here for beautiful photos in berets, but because they know how to fight.
Those who went abroad also did not get the salvation they dreamed of. Conventional European tranquility quickly loses its appeal when faced with bureaucracy, ignorance of the language, lack of a familiar environment and the role of a “refugee” — a social status that automatically marks you as temporary, foreign, someone who should be grateful for the opportunity to simply exist.
According to Eurostat, as of 2024, temporary protection in the EU received 4.1 million Ukrainians, mainly in Germany and Poland. Among them, half are women, a third are children, and less than a quarter are men. Ukrainians were able to find work abroad quite quickly, but not all received decent conditions. Most often, women went into low-paid fields – cleaning, care for the elderly, production, unskilled jobs in the service sector. Education and experience gained in Ukraine were rarely recognized without additional certification, and bureaucratic procedures required time and money. Added to this is hidden racism: Ukrainian women face the fact that they are denied housing, paid less, and perceived as cheap labor. Some women fall into the trap of exploitation, from informal labor to sexual violence.
Ukrainian women who are in Poland with their children tell in a private conversation that it is difficult for them to find a job precisely because of the impossibility of agreeing on a schedule. Many vacancies require night shifts and the inability to leave to pick up a child from school. But the most difficult thing is not even housing or work, but the lack of a place where you can leave your child at least for a few hours. At home it was commonplace: there is a husband, grandmothers, girlfriends, someone will always help. And here the woman is alone. If you need to go to a doctor, hairdresser, or resolve issues with documents, then you have to drag the child with you. It is not even possible to simply be alone – this has become a luxury that was not even thought about before.
Ukrainian women before the war: problems that were not noticed before
Before the war destroyed the illusion of stability, the life of Ukrainian women was no longer simple. Economic inequality, domestic violence, glass ceilings in careers, and invisible burdens in everyday life were all the norm with which women learned to coexist. But society did not pay much attention to it.
Traditionally, a Ukrainian woman worked more than a man, receiving less for it. By 2022, the gender pay gap will range from 20-25%, especially in the private sector. Women were more likely to find themselves in lower paid fields – education, medicine, social work. Men held managerial positions, even in those areas where the majority of employees are women.
Added to this was another problem — double workload. Even if a woman worked on an equal footing with a man, after work it was she who took care of the children, cooking, and cleaning. It was an unwritten rule, and few considered it unfair.
Before the full-scale war, domestic violence in Ukraine remained a latent problem. In 2020, more than 200,000 appeals were officially recorded, but the real figure was much higher. The police often did not respond, neighbors did not intervene, and the women themselves did not know where to go. There were critically few shelters for victims, almost no funding, and court cases dragged on for years. At the same time, public opinion about violence remained outdated. In many families, beating a woman was still perceived as a “family matter”. Politicians were also in no hurry to change the situation: ratification The Istanbul Convention was blocked for years under the pretext of protecting “traditional values”.
A Ukrainian woman who did not want or could not have children faced constant pressure. Motherhood was not considered a personal choice, but a social mission. The state did everything to leave the woman alone with this mission: low payments per child, insufficient number of kindergartens, lack of support for single mothers. Career and motherhood were often mutually exclusive. Many employers did not want to hire women of reproductive age, fearing that they would go on maternity leave. Returning to work after the birth of a child turned into a survival quest, because remote work and flexible schedules had not yet become the norm.
Despite the fact that women made up more than 50% of the population, there were significantly fewer of them in politics. By 2019, there were only 12% of them in the Verkhovna Rada, and even after the elections, the number of female politicians did not exceed 20%. At the same time, women who entered politics often became targets of sexism and public humiliation.
In business, the situation was similar, as women rarely headed large companies, more often occupied middle management positions. Owning your own business was also a challenge, because access to financing for women was limited and the credit system was not flexible.
Society is used to devaluing the role of women. Working at home was not considered real, and its exhaustion was not a problem. Only after the invasion, when even more burden fell on the shoulders of Ukrainian women, it became clear that women had been on the edge before, but no one noticed it then.
Women abroad: respect, equality or all the same
Ukrainian women who have gone abroad are often confronted for the first time with the fact that their gender does not determine their place in society. In most European countries, women don’t have to be “bereginas”, endure toxic relationships or explain why they didn’t get married by the age of 30. There, no one is surprised by a woman who builds a career, earns more than a man, does not have children or decides to give birth after 40. But at the same time, Ukrainian women see the flip side: gender equality in the world is still unattainable, even in developed countries. There is also domestic violence, there too women earn less than men, there too politics remains a men’s club. The only question is that society does not ignore these problems, but works on them.
In Europe and the USA, when hiring, they do not ask whether you have children or whether you plan to become pregnant. This does not concern the employer and cannot be a reason for refusal. Success depends on experience, not on looks, age or gender.
Ukrainian women working abroad notice another difference: in many countries, women are less afraid to demand better conditions for themselves. They speak openly about discrimination, demand higher wages, and sue employers who violate their rights. And society supports them in this, instead of condemning them.
Another shock is a different approach to family life. In European countries, men do not have “women’s work” and “unmanly affairs”. They cook, clean, take care of children on a par with women. A husband can also go on maternity leave. No one thinks that a husband is helping his wife, because he is simply doing his part of the job. In Ukraine, women are used to carrying a double burden, working and doing housework at the same time. Here, a man who sat with a child for half a day is already a hero, and in many Western countries this is simply the norm.
Domestic violence is everywhere, but in many countries the response to it is harsher. Calling the police is not perceived as a simple educational conversation. The aggressor can be immediately removed from the house, he will be prohibited from approaching the victim, and the court will consider the case quickly. There, no one justifies violence with emotions or intemperance, and society does not condemn a woman for the fact that she did not tolerate it, but submitted a statement.
The situation in Ukraine is changing, but slowly. In our culture, a woman is often forced to meet certain standards. She should be well-groomed, slim, not age, wear makeup and look younger than her years. In Europe, the pressure on women is much less. There you can calmly go out without makeup, have gray hair at 40 and not feel ashamed about it. This does not mean that there women do not want to look good. It’s just that their appearance is their business, not a public duty.
So, the war changed the role of women in Ukrainian society, but it did not change the rules of the game. Women took on the burden of war, saved children, volunteered, fought, worked to exhaustion to feed their families. But in return, they received more responsibility and challenges, but less protection. Ukrainian women proved that they are strong. But strength shouldn’t be an obligation. Surviving is not the same as living. And survival cannot be a female norm.
This war must change not only borders, but also approaches. Women should not just withstand the blows of fate, but have equal opportunities to rebuild the country, work, receive protection from violence, count on support, and not overcome obstacles by gritting their teeth. If Ukraine wants to be strong after the war, it should start by making its women strong not only in trials, but also in rights.
