Topics that parents should not discuss in the presence of their children, especially in wartime
War is an extremely difficult time that brings with it many stressful situations and challenges for everyone, but especially for children. Even if they cannot fully understand the scale of the tragedy, they feel tension, fear, uncertainty and anxiety. During this period, it is extremely important to provide children with stability, calmness and support so as not to worsen their emotional state. One of the important aspects of this is the right choice of topics for conversations that can directly affect their psycho-emotional state. There are a number of topics that should not be discussed in the presence of children, especially during wartime, so as not to increase their stress and escalate the situation.
Detailed conversations about fighting and violence
One of the biggest mistakes is discussing violence, bloodshed, details of combat or death with children. The description of the war and all its consequences can be too traumatic for the child’s psyche, causing him fear, anxiety and a sense of helplessness. It is important to remember that children are not yet able to fully understand the seriousness of the situation, and such conversations can lead to severe consequences, such as post-traumatic stress or depression. Children need to feel safe, so it’s important to focus on what adults do to protect them, not on descriptions of horrific events.
Political conversations and discussions of power
Children usually cannot perceive political discussions at the same level as adults. Discussing the domestic political situation, different opinions about power, law and order, or differences between political forces can further confuse children and cause them to feel hopeless. Children perceive the world through the prism of simple facts, and it is important for them that adults show resilience and optimism, rather than conveying their experiences and uncertainties. In times of war, it is better to support children in the belief that adults will be able to overcome difficulties.
Fears about the future and uncertainty
Discussing financial difficulties, possible problems after war, or uncertainty about the future can significantly increase children’s anxiety levels. When parents convey their fears and anxieties about the future, this can increase the sense of instability in children. Children have the right to a sense of security and stability, even in the most difficult circumstances. When discussing the future, it is better to focus on the opportunities that are opening up, on supporting each other and on the fact that everything is temporary and everything will change for the better in time.
Personal experiences and emotional state of adults
Adults who are experiencing stress, emotional strain, or difficulties due to work, relationship problems, or other personal issues may unconsciously transmit these experiences to children. This can lead to the child becoming anxious about their parents’ relationship or even starting to feel responsible for the adults’ emotional state. Children should be able to feel supported and protected, and not witness adult emotional problems. If adults are experiencing difficult moments, they should try to maintain their emotional stability and not transfer the burden of their experiences to children.
Themes related to loss and death
The topic of loss, especially if children have not experienced such tragedies, can be very difficult for them. If children hear discussions of death or serious illness, it can cause them to feel anxious and afraid for their loved ones. It is especially important to avoid such conversations when the child is not able to fully understand the seriousness of the situation and may begin to fear for his life or the life of his relatives.
Financial problems
Financial difficulties or conversations about material problems often leave a deep mark on a child’s psyche. While it’s certainly important for adults to plan their finances, it’s not a good idea to discuss these issues with children, as this can cause them to have additional anxiety and doubts about their future. Children need to feel that their needs are met and that adults find solutions without burdening them with additional experiences.
Criticism of the appearance of others
Breaching the topic of other people’s appearance can be extremely harmful to a child’s psyche. Comparison with others, criticism of appearance or even jokes on this topic can lead to complexes, lower self-esteem and deterioration of emotional state. Especially in the conditions of war, when there are already many stressful factors, children should feel acceptance and love without unnecessary judgments.
Conflicts in relations with a partner
Talking about quarrels and conflicts in the family, especially in the presence of children, can cause them anxiety and confusion about what is happening. They may begin to worry about the stability of the family and begin to fear that they may lose support from their parents. Such an emotional burden should not be passed on to children. Parents must remain a source of security and stability for them.
Family disagreements
When there are disagreements, quarrels or other misunderstandings in the family, it always affects the emotional state of children. They may begin to worry about the relationship between their parents or begin to doubt the safety of their environment. It is important to avoid discussing difficult issues in the presence of children, but to remain calm and show them that everything is under control.
Comparison with other children
Comparing a child to other children or pressuring them to achieve more or behave in a certain way can lead to feelings of inferiority, low self-esteem and stress. It is important that every child feels valued and unique, regardless of how other children behave or achieve.
Emphasis on parental sacrifices
Often, parents, trying to show their child how much they are sacrificing for their well-being, may emphasize their own sacrifices. However, constant reminders of this can make the child feel guilty or obligated to their parents. Children should not feel the burden of responsibility for other people’s sacrifices, they should be able to feel free and happy.
Protecting the mental health of children during war is a priority that requires special attention and responsibility from adults. Parents and caregivers must create a supportive environment that allows children to maintain a sense of security, stability, and peace. It’s important to choose topics to talk about, avoid those that can increase stress, and focus on things that give children a sense of hope, confidence, and support.
