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Forbidden love: same-sex marriage at the crossroads of European values and Ukrainian traditions

Same-sex marriage remains one of the most controversial topics in modern Ukraine. On the one hand, a state that strives for European values ​​and human rights faces a growing need to ensure equal rights for all citizens. On the other hand, deep-rooted Ukrainian traditions and social stereotypes contribute to the fact that a large part of society feels the rejection of this idea. Legislative initiatives to legalize same-sex marriage have not yet received full support, which indicates the presence of problems both in the legal field and in public consciousness. Is Ukraine ready for such changes, and what consequences could this have for society?

Foreignness of European values ​​in Ukraine

On October 21, the Gender Stream forum started in Kyiv, where Ukrainian LGBT organizations and the authorities discussed how to protect the rights of queer people. In particular, they talked about the fact that the law, which should introduce punishment for discrimination, has not yet been adopted. The promised law on the legalization of civil partnerships for same-sex couples did not come to a vote.

In Ukraine, the struggle for the rights of the LGBT community has been going on for more than a year. However, even in 2024, same-sex couples remain without the basic rights and freedoms that same-sex marriage advocates believe should be an integral part of any civilized society. Love between two adults, regardless of their gender, is still prohibited by law. For several years, our state has been striving to integrate into the European space, but with each step towards Europe it becomes clear that some values ​​still cause deep discomfort in a large part of Ukrainians. The liberal approach to human rights, equality and freedom of choice, which European states are proud of, often breaks against the wall of Ukrainian traditionalism.

Over the centuries, Ukrainian society was formed on the basis of strong family values, which were influenced by religion, cultural traditions and social norms. The family has always played a central role, being not only a place to raise children, but also a guarantor of the preservation of moral and social norms. Marriage between a man and a woman was perceived not just as a union of two people, but as a sacred act, confirmed by a religious ceremony, in particular, a wedding in a church. This gave marriage a special spiritual meaning, making it a fundamental social institution that ensures the stability and continuity of the family.

Unquestionable respect for older family members is also a key aspect of Ukrainian culture. The system of family hierarchy, where the opinion of the elders was important in decision-making, in particular in choosing a partner for marriage, laid the foundation for social harmony. This respect for elders helped preserve the continuity of traditions, considering family ties as an integral part of daily life.

Another important component of the traditional Ukrainian worldview is the continuation of the family. In a culture where large families were considered a symbol of success and well-being, the birth of children was not only a family duty, but also an important element of family preservation. The more children, the stronger and more powerful the family was considered.

In addition, religion has always occupied an important place in the life of Ukrainians. Christianity, mainly Orthodoxy, left a deep impression on the idea of ​​marriage as a divine union of a man and a woman, the purpose of which is to create a family and procreate. The Church always not only supports the traditional model of the family, but also forms moral ideas about its essence and duties.

These stable cultural foundations explain why attempts to legalize same-sex marriage in Ukraine cause such an ambiguous reaction in society. In this context, any attempt to legalize same-sex unions is often perceived by part of society as a threat to this traditional model of marriage. They see in this the destruction of the foundations on which Ukrainian society stood for centuries. Same-sex marriages challenge established notions that marriage is exclusively the union of a man and a woman. On the other hand, modern currents and aspirations for integration into the European legal field require a rethinking of these values ​​and adaptation to new social realities, where equal rights become a priority.

So, the problem of legalizing same-sex marriage in Ukraine is not just a matter of legislation, but also a deep cultural conflict between traditional values ​​and modern ideas of equality.

Human destinies are in the grip of traditions

For same-sex couples, the non-acceptance of same-sex marriage by the majority of society and the lack of legal regulation of it means a constant fear of being exposed, losing their jobs, facing hatred in the streets or, in the best case, being deprived of the right to official recognition of their relationship. In the worst cases, it is a danger of physical violence.

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The difficulties faced by LGBT people can be divided into two types:

  • institutional – related to the absence or non-compliance with the real needs of the legal framework or mechanisms that would ensure the proper functioning of such norms on the part of the state;
  • social – related to widespread homophobia and transphobia in society.

In the case of sexual orientation, institutional factors are related to the impossibility of official registration of relationships for same-sex couples, which, of course, entails unequal rights between such couples and heterosexual spouses. In the case of a transgender transition procedure, legal recognition of gender becomes impossible in most cases. Social factors generate rejection by society, discrimination in various spheres of life, and in worst cases, even violence.

Every same-sex couple trying to live openly in Ukraine faces a number of legal and social obstacles. They do not have the right to inherit their partner’s property, they cannot raise a child together or get a joint mortgage. When one partner is hospitalized, the other has no right to make decisions about treatment or even visit him.

During the signing of the documents, we had to sign a piece of paper stating that I am not married and do not live with anyone in the same family. And we both had to sign this piece of paper! Moreover, we are married, we live as a family, but such a delusional story. This is not something that prevents you from living, does not give you the opportunity to live, but these are such constant obstacles that tell you that you are nobody here”, – Alisa and Nadia, who have been living together for 5 years (the marriage was registered in Portugal – ed.), share their experience.

Two years ago, a petition on the legalization of same-sex marriage was registered on the president’s website, which received more than 25,000 votes. But, due to the impossibility of changing the terms of the Constitution of Ukraine during the war, this petition was not successful. Currently, the draft law on civil partnership registration has been shelved.

“The main obstacle for the draft law is the legal policy committee, which, to put it bluntly, is homophobic. This position is ultimate. She is not professional in any way. We, as people’s deputies, have to protect the interests of the people, our voters. And now we have tens of thousands of same-sex families that are completely defenseless, and we need to give them the same protections that we have for heterosexual couples“, Dmytro Gurin, a deputy of the Verkhovna Rada and the author of the draft law on same-sex marriage, points to the problem

At the same time, the same legal policy committee noted that the issue is not homophobia, but that the deputies take into account the arguments of those people who are guided by religious norms and customs. Meanwhile, the problem is only taking root.

It should be noted that some LGBT people serve in the army. And as you know, the army environment in Ukraine remains homophobic. At the same time, according to unofficial evidence, the attitude towards homosexual women is more relaxed than towards men. However, we should not forget that women also face sexism and sexual harassment.

According to the military, the lack of the right to marry becomes a big problem for LGBT military personnel. After all, the front is the place where people are constantly exposed to the risk of being wounded or killed. Therefore, the lack of such banal rights that marriage provides, such as visiting the hospital, deciding on the issue of artificial life support, identifying the body in the morgue, and deciding on inheritance, remains a very pressing problem for LGBT people.

In addition, for transgender people in the army, there is also the problem of using common gendered spaces, as well as access to hormonal drugs. After all, there are no mechanisms for providing such drugs at the state level.

Attitude of Ukrainian society towards LGBT people

The attitude of Ukrainians towards the LGBT community is a bitter struggle between old and new, traditional and modern. For many Ukrainians, LGBT is something “foreign”, imposed by the West, which violates the usual ideas about the family. Ukrainian society, deeply rooted in patriarchal values ​​and religious dogmas, often rejects anything that deviates from the usual norm. LGBT people are perceived not as citizens with the right to freedom and personal happiness, but as a “threat” to the traditional way of life.

However, the paradox is that although the majority of Ukrainians still treat LGBT people with mistrust or even aggression, the situation is gradually changing. Young people growing up in conditions of globalization and open access to information are increasingly neutral or supportive of LGBT equality and rights. For them, it is not just a question of morality, but a question of freedom of choice and modernity.

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For data according to a sociological survey of the National Democratic Institute and the Kyiv International Institute of Sociology (KIIS), conducted in May 2024, 68% of Ukrainians fully (39%) or rather (29%) recognize the need to protect members of the LGBT+ community from discrimination. And only 18% of participants spoke against the protection of LGBT+ people from discrimination. 42% of respondents agree that LGBT people should have the same rights as everyone else. 26% of respondents rather agreed. And only 11% of participants were categorically against.

The idea of ​​introducing the civil partnership institute in Ukraine was positively evaluated by 55% of the survey participants, among whom 28% gave an unambiguously positive answer. 15% of respondents completely disagreed with granting such a right. Comparing these data with the data of December 2019, we observe a shift in the direction of support for the LGBT+ community by almost five (16%). It is obvious that Ukrainians demonstrate a global trend towards greater acceptance of their LGBT fellow citizens.

The attitude of foreign countries to the legalization of same-sex marriages

In most democratic states with strong legal systems, there is a progressive attitude towards the rights of the LGBT community, in particular towards same-sex marriage. There it is perceived as a natural development of the concept of equal rights for all citizens. However, in some conservative or religious countries, the issue remains extremely controversial and faces strong resistance.

Same-sex marriages are legalized in many countries around the world, including Western Europe, North America, and parts of Latin America and Oceania. Some countries have long recognized the rights of same-sex couples, while others have come to this decision in recent years.

Countries where same-sex marriage is legalized:

  • The Netherlands (2001) was the first in the world to legalize same-sex marriage;
  • Belgium (2003) quickly followed the example of the Netherlands;
  • Spain (2005) was one of the first countries to legalize same-sex marriage in Europe;
  • Canada (2005) — also early recognized the right to marriage for same-sex couples;
  • The Republic of South Africa (2006) was the first country in Africa to legalize same-sex marriage;
  • Norway, Sweden, Iceland, Denmark (2008–2012) — Scandinavian countries have stable support for LGBT rights;
  • USA (2015) – The US Supreme Court passed a decision that legalized same-sex marriage throughout the country;
  • Germany (2017) — the road to recognition was long, but public support was significant;
  • Australia (2017) — after a nationwide referendum, same-sex marriage was legalized;
  • France (2013);
  • Ireland (2015);
  • Austria (2019);
  • Taiwan (2019) is the first Asian country to legalize such marriages.

In most Western countries, same-sex marriage is not only legal, but also has significant support among society. Studies show that in countries like the Netherlands, Canada, Spain and Sweden, the percentage of those who support same-sex marriage is consistently high, and this is considered the norm.

For example, in Western Europe and North America, societies largely support marriage equality, and many see it as an advancement of human rights. In countries such as Norway, the Netherlands, and Canada, same-sex marriage has long been a part of everyday life, without much controversy or resistance.

Countries like Argentina (where same-sex marriage has been legal since 2010) and Brazil have seen significant support for LGBT rights, although some regions remain more conservative.

At the same time, in Asia, only Taiwan became the first country to legalize same-sex marriage. In other countries of the region, the issue remains complex and controversial due to cultural and religious traditions.

Most African and Middle Eastern countries remain very conservative on same-sex relationships. Apart from the Republic of South Africa, where same-sex marriage is legal, many African countries have laws that strictly prohibit homosexuality.

Today, Ukraine is at a crossroads — on the one hand, the country wants to meet European standards and values ​​that provide for equal rights for all. On the other hand, society’s resistance, rooted in traditional dogmas, becomes an insurmountable obstacle on this path.

Same-sex marriage is an issue that deeply divides Ukrainian society, forcing it to choose between age-old traditions and the external pressure of integration into Western structures. For many Ukrainians, the legalization of such unions is not just a challenge, but a direct threat to the established moral and religious foundations that have defined the nation’s identity for centuries. In times when the country is going through the most difficult tests, preserving the family as a traditional value can be the unifying factor that will help keep the nation from internal division. Support for same-sex marriage can become the catalyst that will increase social divisions and exacerbate internal contradictions that today may be more dangerous than ever.

 

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