Children of war

Children of war: how to help overcome aggression and foster the power of goodness

Children who experience the horrors of war or are forced to live in hostilities are one of the most vulnerable groups in society. They experience constant psychological pressure, displacement, loss of loved ones and the horrors of war. This experience has a significant impact on their emotional state and behaviour. When threats become part of everyday life, children often look for ways to control their emotions, and unfortunately, aggression and violence can be one of them. This does not always indicate criminal intent – it is often a defence mechanism to overcome fears and insecurities. The main task of adults is to help a child find other, positive ways of expressing themselves.

Psychologicalcauses of bullying

As children grow up, they may not always understand the difference between ‘good’ and ‘evil’, especially when they are under constant stress and instability. Often, they are cruel not to cause harm, but to maintain control over their emotions. In such situations, adult intervention becomes a key factor that can help a child learn the right methods of social interaction and cope with their fears.

Psychologist Mark Travers notes that children often resort to bullying not because of criminal intent, but because of a psychological need to protect their self-esteem. His study, published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies, showed that aggressive behaviour is often an attempt to maintain internal control and avoid feelings of helplessness.

The role of the family inshaping behaviour

The family is crucial in shaping children’s behaviour. An authoritarian parenting style can contribute to the development of bullying tendencies, so parents should review their behaviour at home and assess whether they are creating an atmosphere that encourages indifference or aggression. Children who see cruelty at home may adopt these behaviours and use them in their interactions with peers.

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Parents should provide a safe space for their children to express their emotions. This will reduce the need for aggression as a means of expressing anxiety or frustration. It is important to create a comfortable atmosphere where the child is not afraid to share their feelings and emotions.

Maintaining open communication at home is an important part of bullying prevention. Parents should create an atmosphere where the child can freely express their emotions without fear of judgement or punishment. A caring and trusting environment promotes emotional well-being and reduces aggression.

In addition, parents’ demonstration of kindness and compassion influences children by setting an example of healthy social interactions. It is important that parents not only talk about the need for empathy, but also demonstrate these qualities in their daily lives.

The power of kindness as an alternativeto cruelty

An effective approach to overcoming bullying is to encourage the so-called ‘power of kindness’ through the development of empathy and inclusiveness. Psychologist Travers believes that raising children to help others – through community service, volunteering, group activities – allows them to realise that true strength lies not in dominance but in kindness.

A focus on social interaction, where children receive positive emotions and confirmation of their value through helping others, can reduce aggressive behaviour. This approach builds healthy social connections, promotes empathy and reduces the need for bullying.

Long-term joy instead of temporary pleasure

Bullying can bring temporary pleasure to a child, but this effect quickly fades, leaving only emptiness and lowered self-esteem. Parents can help their children develop lasting interests and healthy hobbies that bring them lasting joy. These can be sports, music, art, or any activity that helps a child feel important and fulfilled.

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Rewarding achievements, supporting new beginnings and recognising efforts are essential to building self-esteem. When children feel supported and valued, the need for bullying as a means of self-assertion disappears.

Tips for parents to prevent aggression in children

  1. Teach your child to understand their emotions. Help children understand what is happening inside them and how to express their feelings without harming others. Discuss emotions regularly, for example, through play or reading books.
  2. Encourage activities that build confidence. Sports, art, hobbies – all of these can help children find a niche where they can feel successful. This will help prevent feelings of insecurity that often lead to aggression.
  3. Be an example. Parents are the main role models. Show them how to resolve conflicts peacefully, how to support others and show kindness.
  4. Develop empathy. Help children understand the feelings of others. Discuss situations where other children or people might have been hurt or upset and what could have been done to avoid this.
  5. Spend more time together. Spending time with children helps build trust. Children who feel supported and understood by their parents are less likely to be aggressive towards others.
  6. Teach them to resolve conflicts without violence. Explain that every conflict can be resolved with words, not with hitting or insults. Offer options on how to resolve disputes peacefully.
  7. Support school initiatives against bullying. Cooperate with the school, participate in activities aimed at preventing bullying. It is important that the child sees that this problem is important at both the family and school levels.
  8. Develop social skills. Help your child develop communication skills, such as active listening, respect for the opinions of others, and the ability to express their feelings in words. These skills will help your child interact with peers without aggression.

Children of war experience great emotional and psychological stress, which can lead to aggression and bullying. It is important to understand that such behaviour is not always a consequence of evil.

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